College Decision Letters: Setting the Tone
By Kalen Cobb, Associate College Counselor
‘Tis the season of college decision letters. And with that often comes increased levels of anxiety and worry. While that is definitely the norm for a lot of people, that does not have to be the way you navigate this time. First, let me say that a college decision letter cannot measure your worth or determine how smart you are. A college decision letter simply gives you information about where you might be physically heading next. In order to set the tone for this season, I have put together information to help you navigate receiving and opening your college decision letters.
What a college decision letter DOES do
Gives you a decision about whether or not the college has space for you to be a part of their incoming class
What a college decision letter DOES NOT do
Measure your worth
Determine how smart you are
Assess how hard you’ve worked in school
Validate how good of a friend you are
Give you a final estimate of your out-of-pocket costs
Give you a golden key to solve all of your problems
Give you a golden key to solve all of the world's problems
Okay, so we are now on the same page about what a college decision letter does and does not do. You are almost ready to open that letter (most likely, email), but let’s make sure your space is set up to receive this information.
Mental Space
I love talking about mental and emotional health and making sure people prioritize their wellness. When I work with students, I make sure that taking care of their whole person is at the forefront of our work. In preparation for receiving and opening your college decision letters, spend time building a solid mindfulness regimen. In a previous blog, I compiled some resources for this exact purpose. Making sure you are in a healthy mental space by getting enough sleep, eating balanced meals, and getting adequate physical activity will make a huge impact on your mindset. If you feel like you need additional resources, I have also found using positive affirmations to be beneficial. However, if you find yourself in a mental health crisis, none of these resources can substitute speaking with a trained and licensed mental health professional.*
Physical Space
These days, college decision letters tend to come via email. To set up your physical space, choose a comfortable location to sit with your computer, tablet, or other electronic device. Put on comfortable clothing, play your favorite music, and grab a cozy blanket. Don’t forget to bring a charger and a glass of water. If there are other things that would help make you feel calm and comfortable, feel free to bring those as well. I know that some students have their stuffed animals or pets by their side when opening their decision letters.
Community Space
What I mean by community space is making sure you have “your people” near or on standby. These people can include your best friends, parents, trusted adults, your pets, or maybe just yourself. Opening your letter around people who will support and uplift you no matter the contents of the letter is paramount. You have already set up your physical space to be inviting and calming, so making sure the people around you produce the same energy is essential. Even if you prefer to open the letter on your own, having someone on standby via phone or text can be comforting. They can celebrate with and hold space for you to react how you see fit, and will often remind you just how awesome you are!
It’s totally okay to be bummed about not getting the decision you hoped for, especially from your “dream” college. It’s okay to be sad for a bit and talk with your community about how you’re feeling. What you do after giving yourself this space is what matters most. In the next few blogs in this series, we will discuss how to navigate receiving college decision letters, specifically how to handle a denial letter, and will give you pointers about next steps.
This blog is part of the “College Decision Letters” series that will explore what college decision letters are, how to navigate receiving them, and discuss next steps in accepting / declining your college admissions offers. If you would like personalized support in navigating your college admissions journey, please check out our services.
*If you are in a mental health crisis and need support, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741). Both services are free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are experiencing an emergency, please call 911 (if in the United States).*