College Decision Letters: How to Handle a Rejection Letter

By Kalen Cobb, Associate College Counselor

So now you’re ready to open your decision letter. You’ve prepared your mental, physical, and community spaces to be comfortable and calming. You have your email or physical letter in front of you and are ready to open its content. 

You click “View Decision” and slide your finger under the sealed envelope. Your eyes quickly scan and try to make sense of the words:

Dear [Student],

The Admissions Committee has carefully reviewed your application to [College]. After thoughtful consideration, we regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in the Class of [Year].

[Insert paragraph about the increasing number of talented applicants and how the decision is not a judgment on your abilities nor character.]

Thank you again for your interest in [College] and we wish you the best in all your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

[College] Office of Admissions 

Ugh, not exactly what you were expecting. That’s okay. It’s not the end of the world but I know it might feel like it. Now is the time to lean on your community and the supportive environment that you’ve created for yourself. It’s okay to feel your feelings. Just don’t get stuck there.

The word “rejection” can feel heavy and I even debated whether or not to include it in the title. Rejection is not exactly what is happening when you receive a “no” from a college. It’s more of a denial of admittance letter than a rejection letter because the college is not rejecting you personally, they are simply denying you admittance to their campus. (How do you feel about the word “rejection”? Let me know on Instagram!)

While I could again tell you that a college decision letter does not define anything about you—that it simply gives you information about whether or not the college has space for you to be a part of their incoming class—I know that you have probably heard this a million times. It’s true and good advice, but this comment doesn’t answer the questions that might be swirling in your head.

Am I a bad student? Am I not smart? Is my future over? (And similar questions).

No. You are enough. You are brave. You are resilient. We believe in you.

How do I “get over it”?

Having a healthy relationship with our emotions means also giving ourselves space to feel the feels. You might be disappointed and have a “down” disposition for a few days, which is okay. Allowing yourself time to process the news is understandable, after all, you probably spent a good amount of time on your applications.

What you do after those few days is what will help you grow and move forward. Let me say: There is no perfect fit, no one college that will make all of your dreams come true. Yes, you might have had a college in mind that you labeled your “dream” school, but in reality, there are a number of schools that can meet your needs and prepare you for your future. Name-brand colleges aren’t the only ones that have resources to support students.

Take a look at your list again and see what gems you can find. What other schools might you have been accepted to? What made you apply to those schools in the first place? Finding points of interest in the schools that gave you a “yes” will help you to start thinking about what comes next.

Do I have to tell other people?

No, not really. While it is probably a good idea to tell your parents/guardians and college counselor, no one else has to know the outcome. Especially right away. If you do decide to tell other people, you can wait until you feel comfortable doing so. You can keep it brief with a “No, I didn’t get in” and keep it moving or launch into the whole story if that’s more your vibe.

Does this mean I won’t get into my other schools?

One college decision cannot impact the decisions you receive from other schools. A common myth is that if you did not get into a certain school, all similarly competitive schools are off the table. That actually isn’t always the case. In my personal experience, I know a handful of classmates at Harvard who didn’t get in at Stanford or Yale. 

College admissions officers are trying to build a diverse and engaging class. It is quite possible that you might fit the needs of School A and not the needs of School B, even though they have similar rankings or acceptance rates. It is also possible that even if you receive a denial from a “possible” (commonly referred to as “target”) school, you could still be admitted into a “reach” school. In any case, we know that wherever you end up, you can still make decisions that will set you up for long-term success.

What do I do next?

Great question! After receiving a rejection letter, you wait for other acceptance letters to come in. If you have applied to a balanced list of schools, you will most likely have multiple acceptance letters from other colleges. Maybe you’ve already received a few and are waiting on others. Maybe this letter is your first letter. Take heart and give it time. College decisions will keep rolling in throughout the next couple of weeks (or months, depending on when you applied).

Bottom line, even though it might feel like it, receiving a college rejection letter is not the end of the world. You are more than enough and we believe in you. There are so many opportunities out there that you can take advantage of and we would love to support you on your journey.

​​This blog is part of the “College Decision Letters” series that will explore what college decision letters are, how to navigate receiving them, and discuss next steps in accepting / declining your college admissions offers. If you would like personalized support in navigating your college admissions journey, please check out our services.